The Importance of Rough & Tumble Play: How to Get Started and Why It Matters

Why do kids jump, wrestle, & engage in other general nonsense?

Because they are learning emotional control

Kids who engage in rough & tumble play are less aggressive & better at controlling anger

7 Ways Rough & Tumble Play Makes Your Kids into Better Humans

1. Conflict Resolution Skills: Through play fighting, individuals learn to manage conflicts and negotiate boundaries, promoting the development of conflict resolution skills that are crucial for healthy relationships.

2. Emotional Expression: Play fighting allows individuals to express a range of emotions, such as excitement, joy, or frustration, in a playful and controlled environment, promoting emotional expression and understanding.

3. Emotional Release: Engaging in rough and tumble play allows children to release pent-up emotions and energy in a controlled and safe manner, reducing feelings of frustration and aggression.

4. Stress Reduction: Physical play helps reduce stress by releasing endorphins and reducing cortisol levels, contributing to improved emotional regulation and a calmer demeanor.

5. Social Bonding: Rough and tumble play involves social interaction and cooperation, fostering strong social bonds and improving emotional connections with others, ultimately reducing aggressive tendencies.

6. Empathy Development: Engaging in physical play enables individuals to understand and consider the feelings of others, leading to increased empathy and emotional awareness, which can reduce aggressive behaviors.

7. Positive Reinforcement of Boundaries: Rough and tumble play provides an opportunity for individuals to set and respect boundaries, fostering a sense of respect and understanding.

In conclusion, kids running, screaming, play fighting, and jumping off things is critical for them to develop the emotional control they will need as an adult. One wonders if the dramatic reduction in play is in part responsible for the mental health crisis.

BUT something should be bothering you.

Can kids really learn these skills just by playing on their own?

The answer is NO, most can’t. Kids need guidance to figure out when something is too much or not safe and they need help working through the strong emotions that come up during this type of play. Adults playing WITH kids is the best way to accomplish this.

Importantly, studies show that when it comes to rough and tumble play, you shouldn’t let your kids win (more on why HERE).

Ok, so then how do you play with your kids safely and reap all the benefits?

6 Rules to Safely Engage your Kids in Rough and Tumble Play

1. Establish Ground Rules: Set clear guidelines to ensure safe and respectful play, emphasizing boundaries and mutual consent. When kids are little, give these rules out and importantly ENFORCE them. As kids get older, have kids start to set the rules. This process of rule setting will become innate to them so they do it when you aren’t there!

2. Safe Spaces: First, the obvious: create a cushioned play area with soft mats, providing a secure space for active exploration. Next, employ Socratic style questioning to have them think through how to make a space safe. BONUS: this actually teaches logic too!

3. Encourage Communication: Emotions run high during this type of play. Someone always “goes too hard”. Promote open dialogue during play. Read kids and how they are feeling and show other kids how to “check in” with kids that are acting sad or hurt. If someone is angry (this often happens too), help them calm down first. Anger is an emotion that covers up feeling of sadness, fear, or hurt. Help kids see this and walk them through it.

4. Model Safe Play: Push boundaries and show how to do this in safe ways. Modeling safe and enjoyable rough-and-tumble activities.

5. Mix it Up: Let your kids drive cool new ways to do things - but also bring those ideas to the table. Integrate various play elements like tumbling, jumping, and chasing to keep the excitement alive. Create Obstacle Courses! Design challenging obstacle courses that encourage physical movement and imaginative play. Themed Playday! Organize themed playdays, such as superhero or animal-themed adventures, sparking creativity and enthusiasm.

6. Embrace Laughter: There are few things more beautiful than the sound of children’s laughter. Encourage laughter and silliness during play, have the kids use their bodies in funny ways to cultivate a joyful and memorable experience.

In conclusion; PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS! It’s never too late to start - it just looks different as they get older.

Happy playing families!

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