✨More Than "Good Night": What I Say to My Children Before Bed
There’s something sacred about those minutes right before your children drift off to sleep.
My children ask their richest questions at bedtime. The noise of the day has quieted. Thoughts they didn’t have time for suddenly appear.
Today, at 8:30pm my daughter asked, “What does courageous mean?” Why do questions like this wait until the world is still?
Children’s minds are particularly receptive to hearing you at bedtime. It’s a beautiful time for songs and stories (and I’ll share my favorites in a minute), but it can be more than that. Over the years, we’ve nourished their hearts in different ways in different seasons.
When they were toddlers, bedtime was about comfort and calm. As they’ve grown, it has become a time to build confidence through connection, affirmations, and steady reminders of who they are — and what we see in them.
You see — Sleep is not empty time.
Your brain is working on what was lived and learned that day. We wake stronger in skills we practiced the day before and clearer on problems we wrestled with. Research supports this. Children who practice the piano wake to play more quickly and accurately — true of many things.
Why not use bedtime to prime their dreams to ponder things of importance?
I’m not talking about math facts (though sleep helps them). I’m talking about deeper things: self-worth, security, courage, belonging, gratitude, the memory of being deeply loved.
I know what it feels like to be tired at the end of the day. I know the temptation to rush through bedtime just to be done.
But I want to encourage you to see those moments differently. Not as one more task to finish, but as a rare window when your child’s heart is open, and your words can mean the most.
What would you say if you knew it really mattered?
Here is what I say.
This one is pretty personal friends. I share the special songs and stories I read to my children, the affirmations I use with my middle schooler, and a few other family practices that have mattered deeply to us. It’s for my beloved supporters. Thank you for helping me support my family♥️