30 men in their 70s went to a 5 day retreat. They were asked to pretend they were in their 50s. What happened next may help your child’s anxiety.
After 5 days, these men had improved vision, hearing, & grip strength. Grip strength is particularly important because it is linked with increased longevity (living longer). These men might have increased their life span just by pretending. How?
The Placebo effect
The placebo effect, in this Neuroscientist’s humble opinion, is the most fascinating psychological phenomenon. Numerous studies show that simply believing that you will get better, makes you better. Scientists have studied the ability of placebo to reduce cancer, pain, depression, and even cardiovascular disease! Fascinatingly, the reverse is also true. Believing you are or will get sick, makes you sick - called the Nocebo effect.
This is typically a blog about kids so why the talk about placebo?
Let me tell you a story.
One of the reasons we started homeschooling was my oldest’s anxiety. We’ve been through a lot of different techniques but by far the most powerful was the purposeful introduction of the placebo.
Typically placebo is induced using a sugar pill which participants think is medicine. The reason it works is because they BELIEVE it will work. Most of the time people in these trials are in pain or are facing death. Their minds are entirely open to the idea of a pill being their salvation.
I could give my child a pill and tell her it would make her calmer. But I’m not interested in her believing that her path to a better life lies in a pill. I want her to know that SHE has the power to become stronger, braver, resilient all on her own.
We open our homeschool day with a meditation in our garden. A week ago, I changed this meditation to incorporate a “placebo”. I modeled it on Joe Dispernza’s You are the Placebo - which, as an aside, is a fabulous book you should read.
Three days after was started this meditation, we had our first tear free morning in weeks. This may seem simple to you but for us it’s life changing.
What would you give for your child to discover the strength to change? Would you try a 5 minute meditation?
Below, I’ve listed the meditation I tried with her. If you have a child with anxiety or any self-limiting beliefs, I encourage you to try it. Worst case you’ve spent 5 minutes bonding with your child. Best case, you’ve made a significant impact on their mental health - potentially forever.
Meditation
Sit in a circle - preferable outside - and hold hands
Say: Close your eyes and breath slowly into your belly
It should expand outward - coach them as necessary
Say: Can you feel the Earth beneath you? As you breath in, draw the energy of the Earth into your belly. As you exhale, push the energy out of your head. Breath the energy of the sky into your belly and exhale into the earth.
This is called circle breathing and alone is powerful. Coach this for a few minutes depending on the age of your child. My 6 year old can take about 2 minutes but my 9 year old could do this for 3-4 minutes. Start small and build up.
Say: Now, I want you to create a safe bubble around you in your mind
I ask my kids to “puff” it up and we do quick exhales - they love this part!
Say: I want you to pick a self-limiting belief (adjust language for the child). Something that holds you back. For example “I get overwhelmed easily” or “I’m not smart if I get something wrong” or “when I do something wrong, I’m the worst person in the world”
My children share these out loud but you don’t have to
Say: Find where those ideas are in your body. Are they in your head? Your stomach? Your feet? (be silly, these are kids). Once you find it, imagine it coming out of your body. What color is is it? What does it look like?
Have them describe their feeling to you. One of my kids said hers looked like a fire, the other imagined blue that represented sadness.
Say: Now, push it outside your bubble!
We make movements of our hands! And often pump up our bubble after again - making it feel safe again.
Say: How does it feel now that it’s gone?
Stop to talk about it
Say: Now, I want you to draw a new idea towards you. How do you want to behave now. Kind? Strong? Brave? Whatever it is, bring that into your bubble. How do you feel now?
Stop to talk about it
We always conclude our meditation with a song about being loved for who we are and do a family hug. Find a way that fits YOUR family and go with that.
END
If you try this out, do let me know how it goes!
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Great article!