✨The Family Habit We Didn’t Know We Needed
My children’s best friend lives next door—and once a week, they’re not allowed to see her.
Every Sunday, she disappears. Her family keeps Sabbath and takes it very seriously. They attend church, spend the day as a family. No swimming in their pool. No video games. It’s a day for God and for each other.
Two years ago, I thought, That’s a good idea. We should do something similar.
So I cleared our Sundays. No activities (except church). Just family time.
But you know what I did? Laundry. Cleaned the house. Went to the grocery store.
Needless to say, Sabbath didn’t last. It didn’t feel special. Just a whole day dedicated to errands and the ones liked least at that.
A few months ago, I decided to try again. But this time I did something different. I didn’t just clear out calendar.
I removed the work. No errands. No phones or computers.
It was … well … transformative.
Last Sunday, my children pulled out books I used to read to them as toddlers. We read them together for hours. They pointed out memories, things they used to say on each page, things that once confused them and new things they noticed. It was so special.
Later, my youngest shared something that had been weighing on her for a long time. She bared her soul in a way she hadn’t before. I finally understood why she gave up dancing — something she used to cherish. We worked through it. I understood her better, and we’ll walk a new path soon.
Would that have happened if our day had been filled with noise? No.
It was possible because we had spent the whole day together dedicated to one another. Unhurried. Undistracted. Open.
There is always more to do. Always. You must make connection sacred.
You can’t lead your children without it.
And connection doesn’t happen accidentally.
Every week should have time dedicated for the explicit purpose of being together. Even better if that time is spent contemplating the divine.
I wonder what you’ll find in the stillness.
Laughter that comes more easily.
Conversations that go deeper.
A version of your children — and yourself — you haven’t seen in too long.
It will look different for every family.
But one thing I know for sure.
The laundry can wait.
Your family shouldn’t.
Start with one Sunday.
How about this one?♥️
If this resonated with you, you might also enjoy The Hidden Curriculum of Greatness, Stop Managing Time – How to Start Living by Your Values, Tools That Build a Curious Home.
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Remember → Children are our most important work.
~Dr. Claire
I agree with every word! As Orthodox Jews, we keep Shabbat on Friday night and Saturday with no phones or computers or driving or writing or laundry or cooking (and more!) and I always say that even as homeschoolers, having that time with no chores, or errands or meetings or phone messages to distract us, I don't know what our family would look like. For us, its a day of family time but also of community connection. Because we don't drive it ends up being connections with the people that live in immediate walking distance to us (that we don't usually have time during the week to interact with) which is so special as well. We have big meals for our family (and sometimes friends) where we could sit for hours talking and singing. I really think the most important part of it, that I would recommend to others, is to have all screens away for as long as you can on whatever day becomes you "sabbath", I think that is what makes it so different for us from the rest of the week. The fact that my kids can get my full attention without the possibility of me going on my phone is a big deal. I wish the rest of the week I wouldn't be distracted by it but I am grateful that I know I have a 26 hour break from it every week. Give it a try! You will feel the difference!